News:

The Best Fishing Forum In The UK.
Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Member?

Main Menu
Please consider a donation to help with the running costs of this forum.

The Christmas Fairies.

Started by piscatus absentis, December 09, 2009, 07:50:39 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

piscatus absentis

My birthday is at the end of November and my two boys (plus the oldest grandwean) always make sure I have a good supply of whisky, just to keep me happy and generous since Christmas is a? coming.  I also like to get my boots on and have a walk down to have a look at the burn later on in the evening. 

The other night I?d had my usual few (and another for luck) and set of through the rain and mist.  What a night!  I must have slightly lost my way and was wondering where I had got to when I came across a wee cottage that I had never seen before.  As I approached it the door was thrown open and three cracking wee lassies came out to greet me.  They were the Christmas fairies, all set to grant my special wishes.

?Come in, come in and get that wet coat off.  Santy can?t make it this year and has sent us to take care of you.  He?s lying down with a wet cloth on his head that is nipping with special requests from Big Gordo and Baw Face Alex.  You?ll never believe what those men think Santy can do for them.  Let us tell you they have no chance.  We?ll introduce ourselves.?

The first one.  ?I am fairy Mary, and I?m small and full of cheer, sit down and take the weight off, while I fill you out a beer?.

The second one.  ? I am fairy Frisky, and I?m happy all day long, just come and have a whisky, and I?ll maybe sing a song?.

The third one.  I am fairy Bazoom and I can?t rhyme.  But just look at these and have  a feel to check they?re real.  Don?t go too far though, the defibrillator batteries have run out?.

So, settled down happily in front of a roaring wood fire with three fairies dancing attention on me, a lovely pint and a very nice glass of malt I felt I was in heaven.   They explained that I had three wishes but, since I was a good friend of Wullie  they might be persuaded to stretch to another couple.

Fairy Mary was first.  ?Let?s think about Fred?,  I said.  I get a bit worried about him at times.  He?s one of these guys who can talk the talk but I?m not sure that he can walk the walk despite all the money he wastes on tackle.  I?ve heard he?s off to New Zealand again this year.  Do you think you can arrange for him to catch a bigger fish than Alex?  Just this once to keep him happy?.

?No problem,?  said Mary.  Fairy Frisky was next.

?Well you see there?s this old beardy weirdy from Lochinver or somewhere like that.  He?s not actually a Scot but I?m sure you have nothing against Geordies.  He?s out fishing regularly but never has much luck.  Any hope that he might get something to really put a bend in his rod next season??

?It shall be done,? said Frisky, ?maybe a couple of two pounders?.

Fairy Bazoom came as close as she could.

?Wee Bri.  Everybody takes the piss out of him because of his size.  Some of them even want to take him home and use him as a garden gnome.  He?s a great wee chap with a great sense of humour but his problem is that he can never wade out far enough to reach the fish ? even on the Almond.  Can he have a pair of built up wading boots that might help him get closer to the fish??

?I?m sure I can do something,? said fairy Bazoom.

?Now what about yourself?   We promised Wullie that we?d do something special for you but he told us to be careful because of your age.?

?Do?nt worry about me, just make sure I?m fit and healthy enough to manage my five days fishing every week and I?ll worry about the fish?.

?We?re sure you?ll be all right but is there anything else we can do for you?  We quite fancy you.?

?I quite fancy you lot as well but three at a time is more than I could cope with.  Maybe twenty years ago but not now.  I?ll tell you what ? just make sure that everyone on the forum has a great Christmas and New Year and get all the fishing and drinking they want in 2010.?

?Fairy Nuff,?  they chorused in unison.

The rain had stopped and I got home quite happily.


haresear

 :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ye are aff yer trolley Boab, but in a nice way :D

Alex
Protect the edge.

Wildfisher

What  a man you are Bob, far too much time on your hands....... :lol:

alancrob

I started to read this as a serious post.................. then went back to see who wrote it!

Bob. You are an eejit!  An eccentric, generous, imaginative, humorous, addicted (but only to fishing!) auld eejit.

I hope Wullie has a reply to this post soon.

Merry Christmas.

A.

johnsd

Cheers for that Bob  :lol: :lol: :lol:
yer going where

Sandison

Bob

Can I add my bawbee to the previous messages? Please write the book. Your stories are unique, bittersweet and very, very funny.

Happy Christmas!

Bruce
Bruce Sandison

River Chatter

I never know where your blethering will go next PA, but I always know it'll be entertaining! Remember though, while it's a shame you can't handle three fairies in a oner these days, it's good that you can be so open about it.  These are indeed enlightened and tolerant times we're living in!  :lol:

Keep'em coming PA.   :D

Pearly Invicta

Bonkers and brilliant. Keep taking the tablets!

Go To Front Page