Wullie at the A.G.M.

[piscatus absentis]

I woke up near the end of the meeting just in time to join the stampede for the exit and fags.  A tap on my shoulder and the words, ?howzit hingin big man?, alerted me to Shiteheid Wullie, who, I confess, had gone un-noticed during what had been one of the most boring A.G.M.s for many years.

?Gaun up the street fur a pint??

?I?d love to Wullie but I?ve got the car with me.?

?Ach, bugger the caur, ye kin git a taxi, either that or we?ll gie ye a run hame.?

Re-assured I joined him and soon was settled cosily with a glass and a pint.

?Whit did ye think o? it??

?I don?t really know, did anything exciting happen?  I think I dozed off.?

?Aye, me as weel.  Nae arguments, nae fights ? nothin? tae keep a man wakened at aw.?

?Ah sat there picturin? the committee as dugs.?

?That?s different.  What kind of dogs.?

?Weel twa o? them sat watchin? us jist like pit bulls ready tae loup owre the table an? sink thur teeth inty onybuddy  they felt wur oot o? order.?

?Now you say it I know who you mean.?

?Aye, an; the chairman sat lukkin like wan o? thae wee Korean dugs.?

?They eat dogs in Korea.?

?Ah ken, he sat there trying no tae say much in case somebuddy took a fancy tae him an? he ended up in a stew pot.?

?And the others??

?Weel the secretary is a wee terrier, the wee yappy bossy kind.  Jist sittin? there desperate tae git yappin? and hopin? somebuddy says somethin? oot o? place so he kin git his bark workin?.?

?The treasurer is wan o? thae big hairy sheepdogs.  The kind that seems awfy quiet bit when he starts he goes oan an? oan an? oan.?

?An anither thing.  Ye?d think while they wur sittin? there oan exhibition they?d at least huv a collar an? tie oan.  Ah ken the secretary hud a tie oan but then jist a cardigan an? the rest o? thum jist hud thur normal claes oan.  Nae respect fur the members, no that ony o? thame wur ile paintin?s.?

?Don?t suggest that Wullie or they?ll be using club funds to buy suits, shirts and ties.  You know what committee members are like ? any excuse.?

?Mebbe yur right.  Ah thoat tae that they?re too young.  Wur gaunty be stuck wi ?thum fur years an? years.  Naebuddy else waants the joabs bit ah think thur should be a chinge noo an? then.  Ah think when they?re furst elected thur bru should be stamped wi? a yase by date- jist like thae dae in the shoaps.  That wye we?d git some new faces every few years.?

?That?s a brilliant idea Wullie.  You should bring it up at the next A.G.M.  What colour of stamp should we use and what size of type would be best??

Just then the lights went out and we looked up to see Teeny.

?I thought I?d find you here William.  The car?s outside, I?m desperate so let?s get home and get some action.?

?Ah weel, nae rest fur the wicked.  Wull ye gie the auld man here a lift hame?  He?s in nae state tae drive.?

?Indeed and I will not.  We?ll run him up to the bus stop and he can make his own way from there.  You and I have important business, namely me, to attend to.?

Sunday service with a bus every two hours and  a flat battery in my phone.  I might get warmed up by tomorrow. 

[Guddler]

Always good to catch up wi Wullie an his busy, busy life - cheers PA  :lol: