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Blackbird?s Fancy

Started by Traditionalist, February 11, 2007, 02:10:17 AM

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Traditionalist

Although the operation, was difficult and protracted,
at last, with complications, the creatures were extracted,
some electrified ,some  fiddled, and in fact some soaped
and some at dark of night, from wet grass cruelly groped.

Thus armed, our worthy ventured forth upon the morn,
ignoring cries of "baiter", and other signs of scorn,
the master sallied forth to catch a fish, undaunted,
and simply thumbed his nose, at those who taunted.

Arriving at the stream at last, he opened up his beer,
and chose a spot beneath a tree, "Hope there?s some fish here! "
impaling then a trophy worm, upon an artful hook,
he cast the creature from him, into the babbling brook.

A mighty trout, of age unknown, came to inspect the lure,
but then declined fastidiously, saying "Gad! these worms are poor"
"when I was young, the worms were fresh, and tasted not of soap"
"the water too was clearer then, and there was cause for hope".

"Anglers were well mannered too, and did not curse or drink,
the water flowing past my home, did not foam or stink,
the flies they were abundant, and anglers were but rare,
and though they also fished with worms, at least they did it fair".

"How I long for the good old days, with mayflies sailing past,
just rising leisurely now and then, to take my fine repast,
the good old times are gone I fear, at a most alarming rate,
indeed many of my comrades, have fallen foul of power bait"

"Plastic worms, and deer-hair mice, or even chugging plugs,
I beat them all at last you see, even fine hooked free-lined slugs,
I even triumphed over those who would stoop quite so low,
as to bury vicious treble hooks, in bags of salmon roe".

"Upon reflection, it really is a wonder, that I am still alive,
but I often think it would be nice, if a few more could survive,
most of the trout I get to know, come in a hatchery truck,
and they really are quite stupid, and rarely have much luck".

"My habits now are rather set, and though quite safe, I wish,
that I safely might eat something else, I am quite sick of fish.
A tasty worm, or a juicy slug, would be a pleasant snack,
but an angler might well catch me then, and refrain to put me back".

"Oh I have been caught a couple of times, but that was long ago,
and it gave me an awful fright, but at least they let me go,
I fear today at my great size, once in the hand of man,
I would never see the stream again, but land up in the pan".

The worm meanwhile, on hearing this, was pretty much astounded,
and addressed the trout then loudly, who was of course dumbfounded!
" I don't see why you should complain, your problems seem to pass,
but what the hell am I supposed to do, with a hook stuck up my ass?"

"My life was fine, till one dread day, by an angler I was found,
fiddled about, electrified and soaped, and very nearly drowned,
my brothers, and my sisters, were also very roughly caught,
and in a filthy rusty can, to the stream here we were brought".

"Now here I sit uncomfortably, no chance for squirms or wiggles,
and you have the audacity to bore me, with your stupid moans and niggles"
"Well" said the trout, "that is enough, from you I think my friend",
and snapped the worm up in his mouth, his honour to defend.

Our worthy on the bank, then saw his float a-dipping in the brook,
stumbling drunken to his feet, he heaved, and set the hook.
The trout fought well and long, but alas at last was in the net,
our worthy celebrated with another beer, he is celebrating yet.

The moral of this story, is of course quite plain to all who angle,
when you fish with worms, make sure you choose the cheeky ones to dangle,
they upset the fish much more, and are eaten then for their presumption,
even though well soaped, electrified, half drowned, and unfit for consumption!

TL
MC

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