Attempted to contact Sky to inform them that the broadband service from our local exchange was fecked. Placed on hold for twenty minutes. A nice lady repeated this helpful tip enough times that I was able to note it down word for word-
"If your broadband connection has stopped working or is slower than usual, our online guide will help you fix the problem. it is quick and easy and we wont ask you to take apart any of the equipment. Just go to the Help and Support section at Skybroadband.com"
Aye, right, and how do I do that exactly?
Numpties.
I remeber a while back Jeremy Vine was doing a thing on his lunch time radio show for "silver surfers" and he ended that with "if you are having trouble getting on line, go to the website at BBC.com...................an even bigger numpty.