Wullie and the Alligators.

[piscatus absentis]

?That?s a lovely pint tonight Wullie?.

?It must be, twa moothfus an? it?s nearly timmed.  Ah better go an? git ye anither wan ? a gless as weel??

?You?re a gentleman of the first order Wullie.?

We settled down with our fill ups and Wullie asked,  ?huv ye heard aboot the cairry oan at the loch??

?Can?t say that I have.  I?ve been out a couple of times but only for fishing and never had time to really chat to anyone.  What?s been happening??

?Noo mind this is aw hearsay and allegations but a right stushie is being kicked up.  It aw goes back a year or twa ago when the local M.S.P. said that she didn?y gie a curdy, or words like that, fur the votes o? a few hundred fishers.?

?So what?s the trouble with that?  They don?t count the votes in your area ? they just weigh them.  And politicians are never noted for caring about the voters.?

?Aye mibbe, bit mibbe things?ll be different this time.  Jist mind it?s aw allegations and hearsay bit.?

?They wur oot canvassin? in a local toon an? chapped at the door o? an auld pensioner that happens tae be a club member.  They asked if he wid be votin? fur the sittin? member an? he said, ?nut oan yer Nelly Duff gien what she said aboot the club an? its members?.  Of coorse they asked him whit she wiz alleged tae huv said an? he telt thum an away they went.?

?Twa hoors later his phone goes an? a high heid yin frae the coonsil wha?s goat sumthin? tae dae wi? the runnin? o? the club starts oan at him.  He?s a member o? the same party as the M.S.P.?

?The upshot is is that he says she didn?y say whit ither folk at a meeting heard hur say an? whit?s mair he didn?y say whit he was heard tae say that ither folk clearly heard hur say.?

?Let?s get this right Wullie.  She said something in front of witnesses but now denies saying it.  And he said something in front of witnesses and now denies that he said what he heard her say.?

?That?s aboot the size o? it an? noo the baws oan the slates acos he waants this poor auld pensioner, a regular churchgoer, to apologise to him and the club simply acos he repeated whit the man noo says he didn?y say aboot whit the M.S.P. noo says she didn?y say.  This is aw hearsay of coorse.?

?I hear what you say Wullie particularly about the hearsay but why did the auld pensioner not tell him just to F.. off.?

?That?s cos the auld pensioner read inty whit wiz said by the man who says he didn?y say whit the M.S.P. says she didn?y say that he could huv his ticket fur the loch taen away.  Jist mind again that it?s aw hearsay and allegations.?

?I hear what you say Wullie but need another drink just to clear my head.  I?ll get this one.?

?Wullie went on, ?it?s the talk o? the clubhoose.  Aw the ithers that wiz at the meetin? wi the M.S.P. heard hur say whit she noo says she didn?y say and the man who is chasin? the auld pensioner fur an apology wizny there at the clubhouse when aw the allegations aboot whit she said wur said tae mibbe quite true.?

?Just a minute Wullie.  Maybe it?s the drink but where did the alligators come from??

?The clubhouse is stapped fu o? alligators that see the baw oan the slates an? they?re thinkin? the gemme?s a bogey.?

?So there may be a couple of jackets on slack nails because the baw is on the slates and the gemme is a bogey.?

?Weel hur jaiket is oan a slack nail onywye.  The hale toon noo kens hoo this poor auld pensioner huz been chased bi the secret political police an? they?re up in airms aboot it.  Ah?ll tell ye she?ll no? git mony votes when they?re counted in that toon.  They? ll no weigh thum this time.?

?And what about the man who says he didn?t say that he heard her say what she didn?t say that?s all hearsay anyway.?

?Aye it?ll be an interestin? wan.   Thur?s a club meetin? nearly every month that naebdy bit the committee bothers tae go tae bit the next wan wull be well attended ? ah might go masel tae hear whit thur is tae say aboot it.?

?What will happen if the press and other political parties get wind of this Wullie??

?That?s a guid question.  Whit wi? baws oan slates an? gemmes a bogey an? jaikets oan slack nails awthings ur gaun tae be up in the air.  Aw hearsay an? allegations mind bit.?

?I might just go to the next meeting myself.  Do you think it will be finished in time for a cast or two??

?Somehow Ah doot it.  Ye ken whit happens when aw that hearsay starts.?

[Black-Don]

P.C. mob gone mental by the sounds of it.

Maybe, just definately maybe, it's not down to hearsay this time.

Great story    :wink:

[muddler9]

I heard that, too.

[Inchlaggan]

I think I know this one as well......

[Black-Don]

?The clubhouse is stapped fu o? alligators that see the baw oan the slates an? they?re thinkin? the gemme?s a bogey.?

?huv ye heard aboot the cairry oan at the loch??

Any updates oan whit she said wisnae said  ?

[Black-Don]

Black Don.

Just note that this is all hearsay that I was told by a man who heard some hearsay said.  She was heard to say something that she now says she didn?t say and one of the men who heard her say what she now says she didn?t say now says that he didn?t say that he heard her say what she now says she didn?t say.

Today other men who heard her say what she now says she didn?t say and heard the other man say what he heard her say although he now says that he didn?t say what he heard her say confirmed to the poor auld pensioner that they heard her say what she now says she didn?t say and the man who says he didn?t say what he heard her say did indeed hear her say what she now says she didn?t say is full of s**** and p***.

Clear?

And mind the alligators

Gawd, that's terrible. Seems to me the man who heard her say what she didnae say didnae know what she had said.


Me and the Alligators are best of pals

[Black-Don]

Sounds a load o' crock tae me  :lol:

Brillaint as always PA.

Ardbeg

Crock and Bull bae the sounds o' it.