Wullie and Scottish Fishing History.

[piscatus absentis]

?Howzit hingin big man??

Since there is no sensible answer to what is, in my mind, a rhetorical question I simply said, ?get some beer in before that barman chucks us out.?

Settled down in a quietish corner I enquired after his health and requested an up to date fishing report.

?Feelin? a loat better than you?re lukkin?, nar worries ataw in eether mind or boady.  An? fishin? ? weel ye ken the season?s shut bit ah did try ma haun at some coorse fishin? a week ur sae ago when ah wiz in England bit ah hud the usual problems wi nae permits bit ah wiz ready fur thum this time.?

?An English pal o? mine taen me tae a wee loch an? set me up wi this eighteen fit road withoot a reel.  We chucked hauf a pail fu o? maggots oot inty the water an? sat doon tae wait fur fish.  We hudny been oan the watter fur five meenits when this man asked tae see oor permits an? licences.  Ma pal hud thum alright bit ah hud nane an? telt him that ah didny need ony seein? as how ah wiz a Scoatsman?.

?And who told you that??

?It?s a weel kent fact; Scoatsmen ur exempt in England.  Jist check yur history books.?

?It?s the first time that one has been tried on me but I am afraid you are wrong and a licence and permit are now required.  If you do not produce them you can be arrested and fined.?

?Weel, jist you try it pal an? yer erse?ll be oot the windae.  In fact yull probably be charged yursel wi harassin? a Scoatsman.?

?All right then, it?s been a boring morning and I?m willing to listen to your kilted ravings.  Go ahead.?

?Dinny bother wi the insults pal ur yull jist make things worse fur yirsel.  Huv ye ever heard o? the Declaration o? Arbroath??

?Can?t say that I have.?

?Whit it wiz wiz a letter tae the Pope, John the twenty second if ye waant tae be accurate.  Among ither things it said,?as long as two of us remain alive we will never pay for fishing in England that we have possessed from time immemorial?.  An? the Pope wrote back tae say gaun yursels boys, ah?m oan your side.?

?Weel the twa Eddies wizny very pleased wi this an? invaded Scoatland an? aw they goat wiz a good doin.  The youngest wan hud tae sign the Treaty of Edinburgh and Northampton an? agree that Scoatsmen could fish onywhere in England fur nuthin.?

?A likely tale.?

?Weel hae it yur ain wye bit if ye dinny believe that wan hoo aboot Mary the second.?

?There?s never been a queen of England called Mary?.

?That?s jist shows yir lousy English education, thur?s been twa o? thum.  The wan ah?m talkin? aboot cam ower frae Holland wi hur man Billy an? kicked oot hur faither, Jimmy the seeventh wha wizny much o? a king onywye.   Bit Billy wizny wan fur traivellin?, except tae Ireland, an? Mary kept narkin? him tae take hur up tae Scoatland tae visit hur relatives bit they twa o? thum wur jist too bisy an? nivver goat roon tae it.?

  ?Bit whit she did wiz tae git Billy tae make a special royal order confirmin? that Scoats didny huv tae pye tae fish in England.  Wull that wan satify ye??

?I?ve got to give it to you Scotsmen, born story tellers but I still propose to have you arrested.?

?Arrest awa bit it?s you that?ll be in trouble fur thur?s mair tae come.?

?Mary an? Billy deed an? hur sister Anne took owre ? hur wi? the legs.  The last o? the Stewarts she wiz.  She nivver goat up tae Scoatland neether bit she made sure hur Parliament confirmed that Scoatsmen wur exempt frae aw charges fur fishin in England that hud been there from time immemorial.  Then she deed an? ye feenished up wi the Germans an? ye ken the trouble they?ve caused ye.  Mind ye it?ll git worse noo that yuv goat the Greeks as well tae contend wi.?

?I?ve had enough of your nonsense.  Name and address and you can expect a visit from the local constabulary.?

?Fair enuff pal bit dinny say ah didny warn ye.  Tell thum tae git in touch wi Neil Lennon, Parkheid, London Road, Glesca.  Ah?ll luk furrit tae thum drappin in an? even mair tae drappin you in the shite.?

?He buggered aff then bit ah didny fish much longer ? no ma kindy fishin ataw.?

I remember thinking that another redhead would have an interesting encounter with our local boys in blue.

[Wildfisher]

Another masterpiece Bob.   :lol:

[jimmul]

And to think I've been paying for a rod licence down here when I did'nt need to, I will have to try that the next time I'm asked to come out the river and show him my licence.  Nice one Bob.

[emc]

Wish I'd known that 50 years ago when I was reported to the authorities for fishing for roach without a permit - with threats of prosecution. Bast==d even confiscated my fibreglass fencepole!! Always makes me check direction officialdom is likely to appear from if I'm on a DOD :roll: