The Con - Part 10

[otter]

Nothing could have prepared the padre for what he was about to see and such was his shock that he nearly blessed himself unwittingly.

Jimmy's fishing room was in the basement, sorry correction, Jimmy's fishing room was the basement, it was the same size as the floor area of the entire ground floor of the house. Two and half thousand square foot in total, dedicated to his hobby.

The entire back wall was lined with rods, held in mahogany cases and each series of cases labelled. Sea Rods, Spinning Rods, Salmon Rods, Trout River Rods, trout Lake rods. The wall nearest the door held a long line of mahogany book cases almost full, containing row upon row of every book on trout fishing that had ever been written, many first editions long since out of print.

Father Brennan gasped as he followed Jimmy , unable to grasp how one individual could have collected so much stuff or why one would do so. Jimmy switched on some more lights and the entire east wing area lit up revealing an enormous mahogany desk which had three leather swivel chairs placed along its length.

'This is where I tie a few flies Father, take a seat.' grinned Jimmy

Father Brennan sat on one of the soft leather chairs, comfortable and luxurious.

Jimmy pointed to a small row of coloured buttons on the desk; 'The command centre Father.'

He pressed the red button and grinned as his prowess as an engineer was revealed in all its glory. Father Brennan was utterly speechless. First, a series of spot lights slowly dropped from a hidden cavity in the ceiling and in unison three pedestal Law vices rose up from more hidden cavities in the desk. Then a series of mahogany racks rose like a phoenix, revealing drawers containing every fly tying material known to man, all within easy enough reach of the tier. The finale was when a pyramid shaped copper vessel rose beside each vice, their sides finally collapsing outwards, revealing the fly tying tools, all hand tooled by Jimmy.

'This is the fly tying factory Father and this is the pinnacle of my engineering'; he said as he pushed another button. Father Brennan could hear a motor humming and after a minute or so he looked at Jimmy wondering what was happening. What appeared next was extraordinary indeed. An enclosed clear boxed plastic pipe, some thirty foot long, three feet wide and slightly angled, rose up from the centre of the room.

Jimmy watching the expression of increduilty on Father Brennan's face waited, as any good showman would, then pressed another button. Water came rushing from one end of the pipe and flowed out the other.

'The Lab Father, I have a dial here that can control the rate of flow. This is where I test the flies. What do you think?'

'I think I need another drink Jimmy, a large one preferably'; Father Brennan could not take it all in. He knew that many fly fishermen were hoarders but this was genius bordering on insanity. He looked at Jimmy as he poured another Scotch and came very close to saying, ;"Shaken, not Stirred. Brennan, James Brennan." All this to catch stockies, pray for us in the hour of our death. Amen.

'Jimmy, this is incredible feat of engineering, a credit to your skills. What sort of flies do you have Jimmy? They must be good I'll wager.'

Jimmy led Father Brennan to a mahogany cabinet that stretched from floor to ceiling. Inside a series of drawers all labelled with gold plates. Jimmy pulled out one of the drawers "Large Dark Olives". If there was one fly in there, there was five hundred. Wets, Dries, Emergers , Nymphs , some modern , many of them ancient designs, each tied to perfection.

'I did an entomology course in England Father and when I came back from it I set myself the task of identifying the most used patterns for the last two hundred years for each significant hatch. Then I tied them, tested them in the Lab with varying flows and wrote my results up in a database.' Jimmy grinned, more than proud of his ingenuity.

'How,how, Jimmy, how do you know which fly to use.' asked Father Brennan.

'Good question. Let me go back a step . For many years after old Michael, my father, brought me fishing I caught very few trout. I bought every trout fishing book, every magazine I could get my hands on and read them all. With each book, I followed the recommendations, bought the recommended rods and reels and lines and flies but nothing changed. I spent thousands upon thousands but did not catch much more than before. One afternoon after another blank day on the river day I sat down with a bottle of malt and contemplated my lack of success.

It took an hour or two but eventually it dawned on me that the secret to catching trout was an engineering problem. After that eureka moment I applied my skills as an engineer. What you see before you is a thorough scientific and engineering approach. Do you follow me Father.'

'Indeed I do Jimmy, an engineering problem solved by a genius engineer'; Father Brennan struggled to hold back the sarcasm that tickled the tip of his tongue.

Jimmy took out his Iphone and loaded an app that he had developed.
'This Father is how I choose my flies. I enter the water temperature, the time of day, the time of year, the water height and using a device I measure the light intensity and enter that as well. The app chooses the flies and I fish them.'

'So that's how you win most of the competitions Jimmy, I knew you must have some special skills. Pure genius, pure genius , if you don't mind me saying so.' what a nutcase, he should be locked up thought Father Brennan.

'The seal of the confession Father, consider everything I have shown you and told you this evening as being told in confession. All this is between me and you and God, not a word to anyone'; Jimmy waited for Father Brennan to nod in agreement before continuing.'

'The engineering approach is 100% fool proof Father but there is a loophole in the theory , a factor that I could have never foreseen. Like many a great discovery, comparable to those even of the great Isaac Newton, my discovery was by chance. You see Father, trout simply cannot resist bees.'; once again jimmy paused waiting for the Father to digest this great revelation.

'Three years ago Father, for some reason that day I was not catching very much, maybe it was because we had stocked a few days earlier and the trout were a bit of off colour. I was casting away when I was attacked by a bee. Did that ever happen to you?'

'A bee Jimmy, no I do not believe I was ever attacked by a bee whilst fishing. Once or twice I was attacked by a terrible thirst. A bee, never. How did you escape from the bee attack ?' Father Brennan was close to bursting out laughing but somehow managed to maintain his poker face.

'I slapped the bee of my face and it fell in the river. Would you believe me if I said that the bee floated no more than ten yards downstream when it was engulfed by an enormous trout. I was stunned, bees were never mentioned on the entomology course, barely a mention in the annals of fly fishing history.' said Jimmy, pointing to his fishing library.

' I knew I was onto something so I packed up , went home and sat at the middle vice and designed my Bee Flies.'; Jimmy took some drawers from the cabinet and laid them on the mahogany table. Row upon row of bees, a swarm if you like. Some with gold bead heads of varying diameters, some with black beads, some without.'; Jimmy lifted one and offered it to father Brennan.

Father Brennan examined the bee. It seemed to be constructed from orange deer hair and the black markings were likely to be made with a marker. He looked at it then surveyed the contents of the rest of the drawers. Father Brennan almost choked when he had his eureka moment, pellets, trout pellet imitations. The stupid Bollox was hatch matching a fall of trout pellets.

'Jimmy they look so real I'm afraid to touch them in case I get stung.'

'I only fish them in the competitions Father. It would be cheating to use them all the time, would you agree ?.'

'Jimmy , Indeed it would be cheating, I am so glad I paid you a visit. Will you take me fishing next March, I would love a few days on the river with you and see those Bees in action'

'Father Brennan, I look forward to it and will tie up a few bees for you – our secret father.' said Jimmy, pointing at his nose, confirming the oath of secrecy that surrounded the bees and everything else that he had shown him.

'Not a word'; said Father Brennan, winking at Jimmy.

Needless to say, Father Brennan twisted and turned in his bed that night. He woke regularly and burst out laughing. What he had seen in jimmy's house was beyond compare, almost a theme for a bad science fiction movie. The first of March could not come soon enough, buzz, buzz.

to be continued (when i get time)

[scotgillespie]

Excellent flip bejeezus.

[Moggie]

I think all those Cardinals in the Vatican made a big boo boo  last night!!! What an opportunity they have missed. Pope Brennan a fisher of men and of big trout!!! Hope this story does'nt finish till episode 20 at least.

[Ripple]

Brilliant story, hope time is kind to you.