Hi everyone
We all make excuses for lack of angling success. Well, I know that I do. I am minded to prepare and publish a selection these excuses, each suitably illustrated with a black and white cartoon showing the excuse in action.
I wondered if forum members would like to suggest favourite excuses for inclusion in the work, or, indeed, excuses used and much-loved by their angling companions? I would, of course, fully credit the source of the excuse, if given permission to do so.
All I am looking for is a single/couple of lines upon which to build amusing stories/lies/half-truths of the excuse, how and where it has been applied and might be applied in the future. For example, here are a few that I already have:
?A cold front was going through?
?The fish were too excited?
?You forgot to bring your chanter?
?My girlfriend/wife was with me?
? I took the wrong colour of thermos flask?
If you would like to join in, please post your excuse/excuses on Fred?s forum, or send them to me via private email. After all, we have nothing to lose but our dignity.
Bruce
Brilliant idea, put me down for a first edition.
But, goodness gracious Sir, how many volumes do you intend to produce?
This would be an enterprise to rival the Encyclopedia Brittanica- and that is after ignoring those that have any remote indications of validity- (warm/cold, bright/ dull, high water/ low water etc.)
Here is my meagre effort as a start- SWMBO, dapping on Loch Hope, "snatched" the Loch Ordie from many promising swirls and rises, excuse- "They were too small."
(Sad to say. after one such snatch from a bandy, SWMBO immediately returned the fly to the water, result- three pound sea trout. My best for the week? Zero.)
Ken
Many thanks! Just brilliant!
Not original but:
The barometer was rising
The Barometer was falling
East wind
North wind
Too windy
Too calm
Wrong moon phase
Fish facing the wrong way
Didn't have enough time
Water too high
Water too low
Too bright
Too dull
Too cold
Too hot
I don't go for the fishing!
A.
Catching a fish is a bonus.
They weren't on the dry fly today.
I was told to try a Black Spider but all I had was a Black Muddler and they wouldn't look at that.
My favourite (and I won't name its greatest exponent) is 'I was at the wrong end of the boat'.
The fish were looking for litebrite #8 and I always tie with litebrite #9!!!!
They were just nudging the fly with their noses today!
My fishing companion JC always comes out with the "wind and the sun in the same direction excuse" - certainly true on Islay last week!
Brian
Quote from: admin on June 11, 2009, 08:20:14 PM
East wind
North wind
To which add-
South wind
West wind
and all points in between.
....but of course I only fish dry flies
The boat had a bent keel
My wife was the gillie
They were on Daphnia/caenis/smuts/jassids
I was striking too early
A came awa a thoot ma lucky flee
Forgot to wear my hat/lucky socks/good polaroids
There's a giant pike that eats a' the good anes.
I wiz wearin the wrang hat.
It's no been the same since it cheenged hands.
They were coming short
Alex
They were not feeding tonight.
They were rising every where but would not touch my flies.
They were rising every where but could not catch the cauld.
There was a good rise to night but were not taking.
'There wiz a boy in front of me fishin maggot'
'I was just lookin away for a second at that rise (eagle/deer/flower/etc etc) when it took'
and of course again the classic salmon excuse
'you should have been here yesterday/last week'
Quote from: Bandy Catcher on June 12, 2009, 11:53:55 AM
A classic that I've heard many times during the blanking process.
John
That one is engraved on a boat at Seamaw Loch- with the addition of another word between 'nae' and 'fish'.
I only fish a floating line- it's unfair to chase them when they're hiding!
It hasn't been stocked this week yet.
I'm pretty sure it was on here that I heard a poster use this but "I decided to release it at distance." fair tickles me.
Can I just thank everyone for such a great response - it really has been fun to learn the lengths to which we are prepared to go to avoid telling the truth.
But, there again, is there any absolute truth in angling - other than, perhaps, "Unless yer flees are in the watr you'll no catch ony fush"
Thanks again!
Bruce
Quote from: haresear on June 12, 2009, 02:49:27 AM
They were coming short
Alex
:shock: That is a perfectly valid reason for not catching trout.
That and the lucky hat!
Quote from: Sandison on June 12, 2009, 07:10:54 PM
to avoid telling the truth.
Sorry Sir, this is the truth.
Deride me if you wish, but do you have an angling tale, upon which you would bet your soul, that is the unvarnished truth?
For the shortest excuse, I propose that of a dear friend- "no rod".
Ken
Quote from: Guddler on June 12, 2009, 06:31:31 PM
I'm pretty sure it was on here that I heard a poster use this but "I decided to release it at distance." fair tickles me.
I think Jon Beer said something like, 'I then hooked a fish but released it at long distance whilst denouncing it as both a a coward and a bastard'
First rate.
i remember reading that Jon Beer one too,had me chuckling for days!
Hoolet.
Was told last week by one angler on Watten that the reason he had blanked was " as I was just trying out new flees"! Hadnt heard that one before.
I used to live in Bridge of Earn. I heard someone coming off Sandyknowes dubbery who, having blanked, claimed that 'there are too MANY fish in it'
I also heard that 'the otters have put them down'
they are never on the feed when i turn up or i got a lone of this rod to try it out because i was gonny buy it but i wont bother because it disnae work.
andy
The funniest one I saw was at a Rainbow fishery a rather gormless maggot drowner had failed to catch in a very well stocked the bait section.
Came into the hut after only a couple of hours:
"I want my money back...They'res naw fish in here"
The guy on duty replied...."oh really....are there was me thinking it was February and we are on the same latitude as Norwary"
It's a dour Loch wi big yins.
It's too warm.
My leeder was too thick.
The dog scared all the fish.
There's nae ripple.
Sandy B.O.
one i used yesterday was " the thundery weathers put them aff " mind you it wisnae really an excuse it wis a reason. honest :roll:
cheers Garry