Angling Excuses

[Sandison]

Hi everyone

We all make excuses for lack of angling success. Well, I know that I do. I am minded to prepare and publish a selection these excuses, each suitably illustrated with a black and white cartoon showing the excuse in action.

I wondered if forum members would like to suggest favourite excuses for inclusion in the work, or, indeed, excuses used and much-loved by their angling companions? I would, of course, fully credit the source of the excuse, if given permission to do so.

All I am looking for is a single/couple of lines upon which to build amusing stories/lies/half-truths of the excuse, how and where it has been applied and might be applied in the future. For example, here are a few that I already have:

?A cold front was going through?
?The fish were too excited?
?You forgot to bring your chanter?
?My girlfriend/wife was with me?
? I took the wrong colour of thermos flask?

If you would like to join in, please post your excuse/excuses on Fred?s forum, or send them to me via private email. After all, we have nothing to lose but our dignity.

Bruce

[Inchlaggan]

Brilliant idea, put me down for a first edition.
But, goodness gracious Sir, how many volumes do you intend to produce?
This would be an enterprise to rival the Encyclopedia Brittanica- and that is after ignoring those that have any remote indications of validity- (warm/cold, bright/ dull, high water/ low water etc.)

Here is my meagre effort as a start- SWMBO, dapping on Loch Hope, "snatched" the Loch Ordie from many promising swirls and rises, excuse- "They were too small."

(Sad to say. after one such snatch from a bandy, SWMBO immediately returned the fly to the water, result- three pound sea trout. My best for the week? Zero.)

Ken

[Sandison]

Many thanks! Just brilliant!

[Wildfisher]

Not original but:

The barometer was  rising
The Barometer was  falling
East wind
North wind
Too windy
Too calm
Wrong moon phase
Fish facing the wrong way
Didn't have enough time
Water too high
Water too low
Too bright
Too dull
Too cold
Too hot

[alancrob]

I don't go for the fishing!

A.

[Fishtales]

Catching a fish is a bonus.

They weren't on the dry fly today.

I was told to try a Black Spider but all I had was a Black Muddler and they wouldn't look at that.

[Pearly Invicta]

My favourite (and I won't name its greatest exponent) is 'I was at the wrong end of the boat'.

The fish were looking for litebrite #8 and I always tie with litebrite #9!!!!

They were just nudging the fly with their noses today!

[waafisher]

My fishing companion JC always comes out with the "wind and the sun in the same direction excuse" - certainly true on Islay last week!
Brian

[Inchlaggan]

East wind
North wind

To which add-

South wind
West wind

and all points in between.

[Malcolm]

....but of course I only fish dry flies

The boat had a bent keel

My wife was the gillie

They were on Daphnia/caenis/smuts/jassids

I was striking too early