Wullie's Holiday.

[piscatus absentis]

?Gaun ? hiv anither wan.  Yur in nae hurry jist like me.  Ah?m aff oan ma hoalidays the morn?.

?Wullie ? I don?t think Teeny will appreciate you turning up to go anywhere in the state you?re in just now?.

?That? hur problem ? no mine.  Ah?m fur anither pint an? a gless whether you approve or no an? whether you waant wan or no.  Make yur mind up?.

?Well, I?ll have another one just to keep you company and to deaden the pain when Teeny belts me for letting you get into this state.  What?s this holiday thing?  And what if she expects the holiday boy to perform tonight??

?Dinny you worry aboot me performin?.  Ah?ve been in worse states than this bit the big boy?s never let me doon yet.  It?s the next foartnight that?ll be the problem.  She?s bad enough oan a long weekend bit a hale foartnight is no something ah look furrit tae.  The wummin?s a nympho; ye jist canny satisfy hur?.

I thought, but didn?t say that my chances of satisfying Teeny at any time were less than slim.

?What about the weans and where are you going??, I asked.

?Aw, they?re nae problems ? away daen? some guid works wi? thur skils.  Funny how guid works aywiz costs paw an? maw money.  An? ah dinny ken whaur we?re gaun, it?s nothing tae dae wi me ? Teeny arranged it aw.  Aw ah ken is that we?re gaun tae some island somewhere wi private beaches an? sunshine an? nae need tae pit yur haun in yur poacket.  Everything?s pyed fur an? it?s coasting a fortune.  We coulda styed at hame an? hud the same fun bit she waants a big hoaliday afore she gits too auld fur it.?

?An? ye ken the furst thing that?ll happen when we git there?  The knickers?ll be aff an? it's come oan Wullie.  Moarnin? noon an? night fur a foartnight.  She?s aff buyin? new knickers the noo but whit fur ah dinny ken.  They?ll no see hur erse fur a foartnight efter she diz hur strippin? aff act tae git me gaun?.

I must say the thought of Teeny removing her knickers with salacious intent evoked memories that had lain dormant for many, many years.

?Ay, I see what you mean Wullie.  You want to get away from work for a while, that?s what holidays are for?.

?Naw, naw.  Dinny take me wrong.   Ah?m quite lukkin furrit tae the fun an? gemmes an? dinny see it as work.  It?s jist the fact that she?ll hiv nothin? else oan hur mind.  Nae chance tae dae ony sightseein? or hiv  a tour roon the island.  Ah mean whit?s the pint o? a hoaliday when aw ye see is the inside o? a room?.

?It won?t be that bad surely.  You?ll have to eat now and then?.

?Ay right, it aw gets sent up tae the room if ye waant an? that?s whit she?ll waant.  An' ye should see whit she kin dae wi' salad dressin' or chocolate.  The only thing she says she waants tae dae is tae hae a romantic rendezvous on the beach an? ye ken whaur aw that saun?ll feenish up.  Fur baith o? us.   

?Ach, the sea will wash it away Wullie?.

?How dae you ken?   Huv ye ever tried it??

I had to admit that a romantic tryst on a beach with waves lapping over us was outwith my experience.  I felt I should give him the benefit of the advice of the older, although not necessarily more experienced, man. 

?Look Wullie, she?s probably been planning this for years and looking forward to having some private and romantic time with you.  Smile and go along with her and you?ll probably start to enjoy it yourself.  Think of it as getting together for the first time.?

?It?s awright fur you tae say that bit you?re no the wan that?s gaun tae be feart tae suggest onything ither than anither night in?.

I found the thought of a night in with Teeny vaguely stirring, very vaguely.

?Luk at the time!  She?ll be here in meenits.  Ah better awa an? shake hauns  wi? the unemployed an? run a comb through ma hair.  Here we go, here we go.  Ah?ll hiv tae sit through a purse fu? o? new knickers the night.?

Knickers in a purse?  Now there?s a novel idea.

 

[Wildfisher]

 :lol:

[haresear]

 :lol: :lol:

Ye've ferr goat a right good grasp o' the Scoattish vernacular Boab.

Alex

[superscot]

loved it  :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Sandison]

I was missing Wullie. Really good to learn that he is still firing on all six cylinders!

[Black-Don]

Sounds like Wullie and Teeny had a good time.

   An’ ah dinny ken whaur we’re gaun, it’s nothing tae dae wi me – Teeny arranged it aw.  Aw ah ken is that we’re gaun tae some island somewhere wi private beaches an’ sunshine an’ nae need tae pit yur haun in yur poacket.   

Where did they go, Tennerleith ?