Loser
- Details
- Published on Sunday, 02 September 2007 09:29
- Written by Bob Graham
Following a recent major tackle loss I was girding my metaphorical loins to ‘phone the insurance company. At one time I worked in insurance and know what a miserable, brain numbing job call centre operators have and like to think my regular, and, so highly unlikely that they’ve got to be true, stories of tackle loss bring some light into their benighted days.
I try to follow the dictum proposed in the final scenes and music of, “The Life of Brian” - “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life“. My philosophy is that, if losing tackle was an Olympic sport I’d be standing on the gold medal rostrum regularly. Redgrave and his knighthood - I’m worth a viscountcy.
Here’s a simple one for all of you who leave tackle on the roof of your car. I have a Vauxhall Zafira (don’t laugh, I can lose waders in the boot) that has two kind of rail things along the roof. After another unsuccessful outing I placed my folding net, which, if it had been lost would have been no hardship since it was grossly underused, on the roof of the car. I forgot about it drove home and parked the car. The next day I drove along the M8 and the full length of the Edinburgh bypass to Musselburgh and stopped at my son’s house. Total mileage around seventy with speeds up to eighty (well, fast anyway). That’s when I noticed the net still on the roof but, instead of moving it there and then I proceeded to unload the car and forget it again. An hour later I was going for petrol and had travelled about half a mile before I thought of the net. It was gone. I retraced my route along a quiet residential street on foot but it was away - dissolved into its constituent atoms.
What about another net, this time with a rod attached. Just the standard net with a five foot wooden handle tied to a Sharpes of Aberdeen built cane rod in its cloth bag. We, (my brother in law was there) had been fishing the Earn and had tied up and were walking back to the car along a well trodden and open path. The rod and net were under my arm in the normal rod and net carrying position. No spirituous liquor of any type had been taken. When we reached the car ( say three hundred yards) they were gone. We went back over that path a dozen times but they were away, gone, departed, vanished - pick your word and offer an explanation that doesn‘t involve magic.
I hope your getting a sense of the standard you need to reach to compete with me. Now try a fully assembled rod, reel and line with an added twist and somersault. I was fishing the Muckle Burn at Brodie when I hooked a wee brownie. The tip of the rod recoiled into a tree and stuck. I tried to free it but only succeeded in breaking the cast which resulted in a troot versus tree struggle (that’s the twist and somersault). I carefully propped the rod up while I arranged to free the fish which managed fine on its own but when I went back to collect the rod etc. they were gone - merged into the background. Now I admit this was at twilight and I had to resort to using a torch but all to no avail. This was a quiet and unfrequented spot and I went back at first light and searched and searched to no good effect. Any reasonable or unreasonable explanation accepted but it had better be good.
Look on the bright side- if that’s not championship losing then tell me what is. I’m ready and willing to stand toe to toe with you and trade loss for loss but be warned, I’ve still got some losses up my sleeve (well , in a parallel universe) that will take some beating.
Bob Graham is an occasionally lucky gentleman who claims he does not do very much these days other than try to catch trout five or six days a week. Bob is a regular at Hillend Reservoir and lives in Whitburn West Lothian.